Is Your Mate Cheating?. Why Other Children are Rejecting Your Child.
You've been together several months, but something doesn't feel quite right with your partner.
You start wondering if he or she might be having an affair. Is it jealousy, your imagination or just apathy that is the result of long-term complacency with each other? It can be hard to tell sometimes, but when in doubt go with your gut and look for the following behaviors that might mean your mate is having an affair.
Oddly, your partner might be having an affair if he or she is acting MORE attentive than usual to you. If you are suddenly showered with gifts and compliments in what almost seems like an inappropriate manner, then he or she might be trying to make up for guilty feelings.
Look for a sudden change in your partner's routine. Is he or she staying out a lot longer than usual, not showing up for dinner or unaccountable at times for his or her whereabouts? If your partner suddenly alters his or her daily habits that too can be a sign of cheating.
If your partner is frequently picking fights with you, that might also mean big trouble. The emotional logic behind this is that picking a fight gives him or her to an excuse to fly out of the house and possibly into the arms of the third party. That way the cheating partner can deny guilty feelings and blame you instead. If you are not to blame, a cheater will create a reason to justify what he or she is doing to you.
Your mate might also become overly critical of you. This is part of an agenda that once again, gives them an excuse to leave or justify the affair. The guilty partner might also be overly sensitive to criticism from you as there may be a ring of truth that triggers guilty feelings that they would rather not face.
If every time you have fight your partner threatens you with ending the relationship, you might also have a cheater on your hands. Your lover feels safe with these ultimatums because they have another person as "back-up" should the two of you decide to split up.
Another sign of cheating is a consistent negative attitude towards the relationship and comments that make you feel as if you have an expiry date inked on your forehead. This might include saying such things as "I would like to travel next year." (with no mention of a "we") or "You know I will always love you, even if this ever ended."
If your lover becomes withdrawn and depressed, it could be that he or she is brooding about what they have done and can't handle the guilt. Sudden explosive displays of affection or anger can also be a bad sign, as the partner might be transferring emotional reactions from the infidelity onto you simply because you see each other more often. In other words, you may be the recipient of a mood that is not due to any of your actions at all.
If your mate becomes incommunicative and refuses to interact with you, this can also be a sign of cheating. He or she might seem cold or inconsiderate of your feelings and be less intimate with you in general. This kind of psychological distancing includes such behaviors such as locking the bathroom door when he or she has always left it open. They may also insist that they pick up their own dry cleaning or keep locked drawers. They may also insist on doing their own laundry. If he or she seems extra finicky about personal boundaries or seems to be trying to set new rules about privacy, this is also a warning sign.
Relationship experts say that if your partner's taste in clothing, movies or music suddenly changes, than they may be trying please their new lover.
Another sign of cheating is if your partner seems to be a bit over the top when cutting up or criticizing a person that both of you know quite well. This is a common tactic used to conceal an affair that leads you believe that nothing would ever be possible between the two of them.
Perhaps the biggest indication that you might be dealing with a cheater is if they stop acting as if they are a part of your life. They may lose complete interest in family, friends or following through on mutual financial goals or plans for the future. Your mate also might be reluctant to go out of town for any reason, as that might cause a crisis in his or her other relationship.
If you do discover that your mate is cheating, you are likely to go through the five stages of grief - shock denial, anger, sadness and acceptance. There is no underestimating the enormous impact of these reactions, even if you had a gut feeling that you knew about the affair all along.
Your relationship will also probably go through three phases. The first is the reaction to the affair, the second is the decision as to what to do about it and the last is a recuperation phase (whether or not you decide to stick it out with your partner in the end.) If your partner is willing to be part
of the decision and recuperation phases, it is highly recommended that you seek marriage or relationship counseling to deal with the fall-out from the infidelity.
---
Samantha Steven's articles have been published in many high-standing newspapers and she has published several books. If you wish to buy Samantha's books about metaphysics click here http://www.insomniacpress.com/author.php?id=110 You can meet Samantha Stevens at http://www.psychicrealm.com where she works as a professional psychic. You can also read more of her articles at http://www.newagenotebook.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/
Introduction
Developing healthy peer relationships is critical for the normal development of a child. Peer relationships have been found to be an important predictor of positive adult adjustment and behavior. Difficulty in finding friends leads to feelings of low self-esteem and these feelings usually continue into adulthood.
Children with poor social skills are at risk for delinquency, academic underachievement, and school drop out. Even though the inattentiveness, impulsiveness, and restlessness frequently persist into adult life, these problems are of less importance as the child gets older. Rather, the main difficulty ADHD patients encounter as they reach maturity is their inability to interact appropriately with others.
ADHD children often lack the social skills that are essential to success in life. These children can be socially inept, and their lack of interpersonal skills may cause them a multitude of difficulties. In addition, positive relationships with friends in childhood provide a critical buffer against stress and help to protect against psychological and psychiatric problems. ADHD children lack these positive interactions and thus are at risk for a number of emotional problems.Probably 60% of ADHD children suffer from peer rejection. ADHD children are less often chosen by peers to be best friends, partners in activities, or seatmates. As the children grow older, their social problems seem to get worse. Their inappropriate behavior leads to further social rejection and exacerbates their inability to relate to others appropriately. Long term these children are more likely to have difficulty finding and maintaining successful careers. This is not surprising since social aptitude can make or break careers and relationships in the adult world.
Causes of Poor Peer Relationships
ADHD children are frequently disliked or neglected by their peers. It is difficult to determine
all the factors that make a child unpopular, but children who frequently display aggressive or negative behavior tend to be rejected by their peers.
Impulsivity and Aggression
ADHD children tend to be more impulsive and aggressive than other children. Teachers observe that the social interactions of ADHD children more often involve fighting and interrupting others. These children are more intense than others and behave inappropriately in social contexts. For example, ADHD children are more likely to yell, run around and talk at unsuitable times. They also tend to want to dominate play, engage in off task behaviors and engage more in teasing and physical jostling of peers. This sets up a process of peer rejection.
Academic Problems
ADHD children often do not do well in school. Poor school performance by itself does not result in social rejection. However, the way the child responds to his academic difficulties can contribute to inappropriate social behavior. Children who cannot engage themselves with classroom work assignments often disrupt and irritate their peers.
Inattention
ADHD children have difficulty with sustained attention.
Deficit in attention seems to be related to peer rejection independently of the aggressive, impulsive, and hyperactive behaviors of ADHD children. These children become bored more easily than other children. As a result, they are more likely to become disruptive in the classroom.
ADHD children have difficulty in modulating their behavior and changing their conduct as the situation demands. They have apparent social-cognitive deficits that limit their ability to encode and recall rules of social cues. Children with ADHD pay less attention to others verbally in games and other activities.
Many ADHD children are aware that they are socially inept. Children who are anxious or fearful about peer relations are unlikely to behave in an effective manner. These children withdraw from peer interactions and, in this way, limit their ability to gain acceptance and friendship.
Children are rejected by peers when they appear to be different. Similarity fosters social acceptance. Because ADHD children do not learn social clues as well as other children, they tend to be viewed as strange.
Bad Behavior
One of the keys to your child's social success is proper behavior. If your ADHD or ODD child frequently misbehaves, it is your obligation as a parent to teach your child how to improve his behavior.
If your child is aggressive or defiant, if he does not accept the authority of adults, or if he conducts himself in a such a way that children his age will view him as a behavior problem, then your child will have a difficult time making and maintaining friendships. The friends he will attract are other aggressive problem children, the type of child with whom which you would rather your child not associate.
All children need friends.
Behavior problem children have trouble making friends with others, so these children tend to congregate together. They reinforce each other's bad behavior. If you are an aware parent and you have control of your child you can put a stop to friendships with these children. However, you must have control of your child's behavior in order to help him to avoid the trap of bad friends.
Conclusion
Helping children with ADHD build close peer relationships is an important goal to focus on, and is one that often may be over looked. You, as a parent, have the ability to help your child accomplish this important social goal. You should make every effort to help your child in this area. His psychological health and his happiness, both now and in the future, are very much dependent upon how successful he is at making and maintaining childhood friendships.
About The Author
Anthony Kane, MD is a physician, an international lecturer, and director of special education. He is the author of a book, numerous articles, and a number of online programs dealing with ADHD (addadhdadvances.com/childyoulove.html) treatment, ODD, parenting issues (addadhdadvances.com/betterbehavior.html), and education. You may visit his website at http://addadhdadvances.com. To sign up for the free ADD ADHD Advances online journal send a blank email to: subscribe@addadhdadvances.com?subject=subscribeartcity
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/
OTHER INTERESTING POSTS
The 4 Job Search Facts You Need To Know!
Parents Demand Dumbed-down Tests:An Unintended Bad Consequence of the No Child Left Behind Act
Energy Work Basics Part 2: What Lifts Your Spirit?
The Person in the Mirror
Afford A Dream Home In Belize
